cat scan

I happen to have found an entire blog devoted to what happens when you put a cat on a scanner bed and push scan now.

They're strangely adorable.

Oh, and if you get so enamored of the cat scan concept, you can scan your own cat (or your own cat's butt given the way many of the scans turn out) and send it in to the cat scan blog owner. You may make the cut and appear in a future post.

My cats will not be appearing as I, sadly, do not own my own scanner. The cats and I would have to make a trip to the library ... or the English office ... and somehow I don't imagine that going well.

Market Monday

The following markets are looking for themed speculative material with a romantic twist or romantic elements. The first is looking for novella length stories -- and if that's not to your liking, the second market only takes work 7,500 words and under!

Entangled Publishing, Steampunk Anthology: (royalties only) Entangled Publishing is an internet startup company. They publish both print and ebooks and have a strong leaning toward paranormal romance novels (adult and YA) from what I can tell. Right now they're putting together an anthology of short steampunk fiction with romantic elements, deadline December 1.  They write:

Will Smith, Jude Law, Robert Downey Jr., Hugh Jackman, and Sean Connery have done fabulous things for the sexiness of steampunk. Even when quirky technology is merely hinted at in alternate, historical-feeling world, moviegoers have clamored for more. Whether they’re donning brass goggles, lacing up steel corsets, or hopping onto the nearest airship, the heroes and heroines in steampunk fiction have captured the minds of readers.
Entangled Publishing is seeking submissions for a Summer 2012 Steampunk anthology. Submissions must:

• Be 20,000 to 30,000 words in length
• Contain strong romantic elements
• Heavily feature steampunk technology and the alternate world it exists in
• All heat levels will be accepted, but erotic elements must not be the main focus of the story.

Direct link to steampunk anthology guidelines.

Escape Collective Publishing: Orbital Hearts Anthology (royalties only) is looking for stories that revolve around relationships (romantic and dysfunctional, preferably) and also contain speculative elements (aka "fantastic" elements).  Up to 7,500 words. Deadline December 1.  They're also running a cover art contest if that's up your alley. They write:

We’re looking for tragic romances, hopeless relationships, unrequited love and (of course) broken hearts. Don’t misread this! Although we want stories that revolve around dysfunctional romantic couplings, we are only interested in stories that also contain “elements of the fantastic.” This anthology is open to submissions from just about ANY genre you can imagine that fits the theme – and we hope to get many submissions that cross over genre boundaries. Try to avoid cliches that rely on weird pairings as their primary theme; we want tragedy, drama, and originality. Surprise us, entice us and woo us into a destructive angst-inspired spiral with your words!

Direct link to anthology guidelines.

Ad of the Week

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy thanksgiving to all my American followers and readers out there. To everyone, have a safe and happy week(end). I won't be making another post over this long holiday weekend week but look for the Ad of the Week on Saturday and some more market listings next week on Market Monday and of course I'll report back on the biggest Muppet event in years.

Muppet week

At Tor.com it's Muppet Week! (My favorite time of year ... too bad it isn't actually a yearly occurrence.)

From the Tor.com newsletter:

It's the Muppet Week!The Muppets is due out just before Thanksgiving, so Tor.com is devoting some time to all things Henson!Muppet Week is here and we're going to be talking about films, puppetry, and the SFF inspirations throughout Henson's work. Danny Bowes finds the Rainbow Connection in The Muppet Movie, Chris Lough needs to remind you why The Great Muppet Caper is the best Muppet film of the lot, and Emily Asher-Perrin asks the most important question about The Muppets Take Manhattan - are Kermit and Miss Piggy really married? Ryan Britt takes a look at six SF icons who hung out with Kermit and the gang, and we've learned that several Muppets tried out for the part of Yoda before the wrinkled one landed the part: see their auditions! Plus, Bridget McGovern discusses Henson's first major foray into fantasy, 1982's The Dark Crystal. There's more coming all week, so don't miss out on all the laughs, songs and dances!

I've already got a date set up to go with friends to see the film on Friday. I will be wearing my Threadless Kermit tee -- yes, I'm one of "those fans" who wears paraphernalia to the event. Can you honestly blame me for this level of geekery?

Market Monday

Looking for places to submit short fiction? Particularly if you're working in the vein of fantasy, science fiction, horror and that unclassifiable "weird fiction" realm? Then check out the following markets and calls for submissions.

Mirror Dance (nonpaying market) is a free online magazine of fantasy in all its sub-genres, including magic realism, urban fantasy or contemporary fantasy, sword & sorcery, fantasy-of-manners, and stories with mythological or folkloric themes. They're looking for poetry ASAP to fill their next issue, but are set on fiction. They write:

All the fiction slots for our Winter 2011 all-flash issue are full, but we are still looking for poetry, especially narrative poems and pieces that blur the lines between poetry and prose. All non-theme submissions will be considered for Spring 2012. Please mention in your cover letter for which issue you’d like us to consider your story or poem, if you have a preference.

Mslexia publishes only female writers. They're seeking submissions for Issue 53 on the theme "In the year 2212…" Deadline: 28 November. They write:

Two hundred years hence, will we be teleporting or living in caves? In peaceful eco-cities or war-scarred refugee colonies on a distant planet? Cast your imaginative spotlight into the future and tell us what you see. Please send up to 4 poems (of up to 40 lines each) or up to 2 short stories (of up to 2,200 words each).

Dagan Books: Bibliotheca Fantastica Anthology seeks submissions for a themed anthology sent between December 15 and March 31. Stories up to 10,000 words--I'm excited that they're willing to look at longer shorts(!) What they want:

Stories having to do with lost, rare, weird, or imaginary books, or any aspect of book history or book culture, past, present, future, or uchronic. Any genre. Although the fantastical is not essential per se, stories should evoke a sense of the fantastic, the unknown, the weird, wonder, terror, mystery, pulp, and/or adventure, etc.

Wicked East Press: Witch's Brew ($5 flat rate payment) seeking stories of witches by December 31 for anthology. (They do lots of anthologies, check out this page to see what those themes are.) Ideally in the 3,500- 7,000 word range. What they're looking for:

Creepy, crawly stories that celebrate the various aspects of witch’s and their livelihoods. Most all genres acceptable, as long as the story fits the anthology theme. This is a collection of stories to be enjoyed by everyone, please keep excessive cussing and sex out unless integral to your character.

Ad of the Week

Odyssey writing workshops charitable trust announces winter 2012 online classes

The following is the press release I'm passing on from the Odyssey writing workshops charitable trust. And to be totally honest, I'm more than half interested in the "Secrets of Literary Agents" class.  The following was sent by Jeanne Cavelos and all the "I" references should be attributed to her, not me here on Speak Coffee:

Last winter, we had a huge response to the three online courses we offered.  Writers from all over the world applied; only fourteen were admitted to each course.  Using the latest technology, we were able to interact with each other in live class meetings and exchange homework and critiques.  Students were committed and enthusiastic and worked hard, taking their writing to the next level.

For seventeen years, Odyssey has pursued its mission to help developing writers of fantasy, science fiction, and horror improve their work by holding its annual six-week, in-person workshop in Manchester, New Hampshire.  But two years ago we expanded our mission, taking the teaching techniques that are so effective at the workshop and adapting them to create online classes.  We have worked very hard to ensure that our online classes are of the same quality and caliber as our in-person workshop and that they deserve to carry the name of Odyssey.  Courses provide a supportive yet challenging, energizing atmosphere, with class size limited to fourteen students.

This year, I'm excited to announce that we are again offering three different online courses covering some of the most critical issues for developing writers:

Showing versus Telling in Fantastic FictionCourse Meets:  January 4 - February 1, 2012
Instructor:  Jeanne Cavelos
Application Deadline:  December 8, 2011

Perhaps the first rule most writers hear is "Show, don't tell."  Yet in my experience, few writers actually understand the difference between showing and telling.  Even fewer understand that showing and telling are not two opposing possibilities, but two ends of a spectrum offering a range of subtle gradations.  To write with power, a writer must know where on that spectrum he should be at every moment, and he must be able to control the levels of showing and telling.  The skillful manipulation of showing and telling can make settings vivid, bring characters to life, put the reader in the middle of the action, and convey powerful emotions.  We will study examples of the successful and unsuccessful use of showing and telling.  We'll also discuss the special necessity of showing in fantastic fiction, and the challenges of doing so.

Secrets of Literary AgentsCourse Meets:  January 9 - 23, 2012
Instructor:  Lindsay Ribar
Application Deadline:  December 13, 2011

The best chance a developing writer has of getting an agent is to query someone who has become an agent only in the last few years.  Such an agent is still developing her list of writers and is actively looking for new writers to represent.  Because of this, I felt the best teacher for a course on getting a literary agent would be just such an up-and-coming agent.

In Secrets of Literary Agents, junior agent and author Lindsay Ribar reveals everything authors need to know about getting and working with an agent.  The right literary agent can help shape and build an author's career.  The wrong one can sink it.  In this course, Lindsay will explain why you need an agent in today's market and what an agent can do for you.  She will show you how to identify qualified agents appropriate for your work, and how to figure out which of those are the best candidates to approach.  You'll learn what agents are looking for in a query, a synopsis, and a novel opening, and how many submissions yours must compete against to get an agent's attention.  Lindsay will take you inside the minds of agents to reveal how they evaluate projects.

Lindsay will also prepare you for working with an agent.  She'll explain the contracts between agents and authors:  clauses to avoid, clauses to insist on.  You'll learn how many authors an agent represents and what an average day is like.  She'll let you know what is reasonable for an author to expect of an agent, and what is unreasonable, and how to build a positive, long-term relationship with an agent.  Lindsay will also discuss changes and trends in the publishing industry, particularly those involving fantasy, science fiction, and young adult literature.  Which sub-genres, publishers, and editors provide the best opportunities for new writers?  What is the role of e-publishing from an agent's perspective?  And how are these changes affecting literary agents?

Narrative Structures in Fantastic FictionCourse Meets:  January 25 - February 22, 2012
Instructor:  Bruce Holland Rogers
Application Deadline:  December 29, 2011

Award-winning author Bruce Holland Rogers finds structure one of the most useful guides when writing a story.  Often he will start a story with no more than a subject and a structure, and it will take him to fascinating places and leave him with a satisfying, unified story.
Structure can provide a story with unity, and it can give an author direction. If you ever get lost in the middle of writing a story, or you can't find the right climax, this course is for you.  Bruce will teach you how to identify and use powerful strategies, modes, and structures.  While most writers have a strong sense of what genre or sub-genre they're writing in, they have little sense of what type of structure they are using, if any.  This leads to muddled, dissatisfying plots.  Bruce will lay out a fascinating array of various structures, beginning with flash fiction structures, moving on to short story structures, and finally covering structures for long narratives.  Bruce will discuss the requirements and goals of these various structures, and how they can be developed with originality and emotion.

More information about our online classes can be found here:  http://www.sff.net/odyssey/online.html
If you've visited the Odyssey site recently, you may need to click REFRESH on your browser to see the new content.

PLEASE NOTE:  Those application deadlines are coming up soon!  If you would like to apply for more than one course, you must apply separately for each one.

If you're ready to hear about the weaknesses in your writing and ready to work to overcome them, you'd be welcome to apply to our online classes and learn the tools and techniques to take your writing to the next level.

NaNoWriMo: Lying

I'm a big fat lying liar who lies: Turns out there are times in you're life when you really are too busy for Nano.

I'm cheering you all on!!! and I plan to start my own solitary nano in mid December!

Ad of the Week

I am concerned

The boy who cried wolf

Realms of Fantasy is closing ... again. Supposedly.  Pardon me if I don't believe that they're actually closing this time.  Twice before they've delivered their swansong performances. Then, post-swansong, someone has leaped in from offstage and saved the magazine with a giant cash infusion.

Of course both times that happened, the new publishers didn't change enough about the publishing model to make the magazine viable. In its current format, it bleeds money. Sure, they can say in their swansongs that there are "not enough" subscribers, but a different magazine with a different owner would have changed the model and made the current number of subscribers be "enough" to keep that model open.

Anyway, they've cried wolf twice before. If this time really is when the wolf comes for them, I can't say anyone will know -- we'll all still be waiting for the announcement that they're coming back.

Ad of the Week

NaNoWriMo: Dangerous Decisions

I've made what may amount to a dangerous NaNoWriMo decision: the three day writing week.

I have a semi-traditional schedule in that I work 40 hours or more per week, but I work most of that over just four days (with occasional exceptions). This means that I spend a chunk of the week wearing myself thin, then a chunk being cranky, and a third chunk recovering from the wear and crankiness. The end result is that I've decided to write my NaNoWriMo novel over only the three days each week when I am in my non-work-for-paycheck recovery mode.

Or, in lay terms, I've not yet started writing.

This could be brilliant -- a clear cut separation between work and play that doesn't muddy the waters or attempt to spread out the pain.  Or it could be a death knell -- an insurmountable task to write 50,000 words in fourteen days instead of thirty days. (Isn't it nifty how Thanksgiving added in all those non-working days for me? Nifty nifty nif -- yeah, I really should think of a different word but can't.)

How's progress?

Very uncreative

The National Radio Astronomy Observatory wants you to help them come up with a better name for what they've been calling the "Very Large Array."

The VLA is made up of several of those GIANT dish-like radio antennas -- like the ones featured in Contact or The Dish -- and is out in some part of New Mexico that I've never heard of. Although, to be honest, if it's not near-Santa Fe or near-Albuquerque then all of New Mexico is a giant question mark for me geographically.


Have to say that I totally loved Contact and I might have even loved The Dish more.  The Dish is a fabulous film that is both funny and historical -- a radio dish in small town Australia (the dish is literally located in a sheep paddock) is tapped by NASA to help track Apollo 11 and man's first steps on the moon.  And The Dish has Sam Neil in it -- who doesn't like Sam Neil characters?

Go here if you have an idea for a more interesting name than "Very Large Array" -- a name which has been on the welcome sign for years now.  I went with murmuration, the same term as is applied to a group of starlings taking off.

(All photos of the VLA come from the VLA art gallery.)

NaNoWriMo: Good Intentions

I begin this NaNoWriMo with very good intentions. I want to win! I'm crazy busy, but I'm not going to pull one of those well I'll try but if I don't make it, no body should be surprised deals. No, I want to attempt greatness, not hedge my bets!

Because there is no try, only do or do not.

I know some people love the NaNoWriMo website and its forums; I find them like the aisles of Sam's Club -- large, packed, and overwhelming. So I won't be there this month. "Busy" means drawing the line somewhere. Problem is, forums serve two purposes: chatting, talking, nerosing, bragging, freaking out and asking questions of complete strangers and establising a group that shares their word counts.

Having someone (or many someones) who are waiting for my word count to be announced and cheer me on when it's good and kick me in the pants when it's bad is a very useful tool. To that end, I will be posting semi-regular NaNoWriMo updates.  These will be their own posts, separate from the posts with more content; these posts will also feature the above icon. They'll just be my word count and perhaps a few lines on how the writing's been going or what my mood is now. I will not be posting parts of my novel as I write it because eek gad! posting my shitty first draft online?! on the internet?! when everyone knows that the internet is forever?! no no no. I will not. Not in a box, not with a fox.

But I will gladly update the world on my word count progress.

If you'll be embarking on this venture (particularly if you're embarking on writing a novel now because you know that life will never get less busy) and you'll be posting similar updates on your blog, leave me a comment with your blog address and I'll add you to the blog roll on the right hand side titled CRAZY NANOWRIMO-ERS WITH BLOG UPDATES.