For some reason that I cannot determine, my "follow" widget is only working when viewed in Internet Explorer. When I try to view it in Chrome, the widget does not appear. When viewed in Firefox, the widget is sporadically there. Oh fickle technology.
If you're still interested in following the blog -- and I appreciate it if you are -- you can add Speak Coffee to Me to your follow list manually by taking the following steps.
Copy the blog URL: http://speakcoffeetome.blogspot.com
Scroll down to the middle white box under the header READING LIST, make sure the BLOGS I'M FOLLOWING tab is open (it should be the first one), and click on the blue button at the bottom of the box that says ADD.
Then paste the blog URL into the provided box, and hit NEXT.
Sorry for the inconvenience, but I don't know what's wrong!
Ad of the Week is a break from blogging to showcase a creative, intriguing, or straight up bizarre commercial advertisement. I endorse no products, just the ads themselves.
This ad makes me want four wheel roller skates (not Rollerblades), and it makes me want to go to Disney. But I'd settle for roller skates.
I now have to read the Hunger Games books because I suddenly noticed everyone on the internet flipping out about the release of Mockingjay. (Okay, not everyone, but at least all the YA bloggers.) I did not know I was supposed to be waiting with bated breath for the release of the third book. My bad. So I will perform odd acts of anticipatory breathing while waiting for copies to become available from my local library. There's a wait list there as well, so it's almost the same thing, right?
There's a blog party going on this weekend. Are you going? I am. And if you're here because of the labor day blog party: welcome!
On Speak Coffee to Me, the "About" page is now fully updated. Before there had been all that boring shit about education, etc. Now the education stuff is buried in an enchanting narrative. At least, it's meant to be enchanting. Or at least engaging. Anyway, it's a story not a CV, so hopefully it's interesting.
If you lurk, but do not follow, now would be a great time to click on the "Follow" button on the right-hand sidebar, just between the eileenwiedbrauk.com logo and the advertisements.
From Fine Printe Literary Management blog, "Social Networking 101" -- except all they really say is that you need a blog, then they discuss what to blog about. Answer: books! And be aware of your voice. Look! Now you don't even have to follow the link! As an example of voice they recommend the Bloggess. Sheesh. Talk about telling newbies to aim high.
And lastly, a not-all-that-recent article from Writer's Digest on the subject of social networking. As always, Writer's Digest is only good for covering the basics in a bare fashion, but it's a good place to start if you don't know where to start.
Next week I'll put up the semi-related links to thoughts regarding social networking and author promotion.
And finally, to wrap up the grab-bag I will answer some recent questions: Yes, I made the header for my blog. Made it from scratch. I used a good camera to take a picture of the black coffee mug (with coffee in it) and then Photoshoped it into header greatness. Back when I paid for hosting as well as a domain name, I had a series of headers all made by taking photos of objects on a large piece of white paper.
Ever been on a photo shoot? Okay, better question: ever seen a photo shoot on America's Next Top Model? You know how they have those white backdrops that curve from backdrop to floor covering without a harsh fold? Yeah, that was my inspiration. And for small objects, a piece of white printer paper held up with one hand works just as well as those fancy backdrops. All other coffee mugs except the one at the top are stock photos found on the net.
I'm not in possession of the black coffee mug at the moment; it's living at my father's house where it is sheltered by sentimentality surrounding it of which this blog is a symptom rather than a cause.
Inspired by theLiz's post "Pet My Peeves," I'm sharing my top ten list of personal pet peeves. Perhaps it's appropriate that this is today's topic, because for the past 24 hours I've had "We Build This City" by Jefferson Starship (or were they just Starship by then?) stuck in my head. We built this city ... we built this city on ... rock ... and ... roll. Built this city. Sigh. Marcone plays the mamba, listen to the ra-di-o. Don't you remember, we built this city ... we built this city on ... rock ... and ... roll. Now, pet peeves:
(10) Weak hand shakers. Particularly people who don't actually grasp your hand, but sort of press your hand between their thumb and first few fingers. That's not a handshake, people, that's how you pick up a sandwich.
(9) Women who wear leggings as pants. They are not pants any more than panyhose are pants. Cover your crotch with an additional garment. See yesterday's post about the jegging for more more clarification.
(8) Men with excessive chest hair who go jogging shirtless. For you, I have one word: manscaping.
(7) People who ask what you're going to do with your degree. I'm willing to cut some slack to those who ask "What are you planning to do after graduation?" It's the ones who phrase it, "And what do you think you'll do with an English degree?" that I want to smack.
(6) Walking down the isle to Pacobel's Cannon. As "classy" as classical music is, and as "original" as you think you are to not walk down the isle to the Wedding March, you are still bordering on pretentious. Then again, not everyone can be as cool as these people:
(5) Close talkers and strangers who hug. If you grew up in Europe, maybe I'll cut you some slack, but otherwise, if I have to lean away from you to feel like we can have a conversation without necking, then I don't want to have a conversation with you, period. Also, I don't like hugging strangers. Awkward. If I hug, it's because I care about you. If I just met you, get the fuck out of my personal space.
(4) Overgrown toenails. And/or nasty toenails which are put on display via open toed shoes or sandals. If you're a dude, trim the nails down. There is no reason your toenail should be way, way out there overhanging your toe. Same goes for women. Except for women I'd like to add an extra step: if the world can see your toes, the toenails should be painted. Even if it's just a light shade, even if it's slightly chipped. It's amazing how much less gross you'll look for this small effort.
(3) People who, when speaking aloud, pronounce the letters OMG. "Oh-em-gee, guys!" Gag me. Come on peeps, it stands for Oh My God! Know that before you exclaim! Unless you're doing it for comic effect --which can be pretty hillarious, I admit-- just say the damn words. It won't take you any longer than pronouncing the letters.
(2) When the officiant at a wedding announces the new couple as something like Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Drundle. Take your husband's last name or don't -- I really don't care if you want to go through the hassle / paperwork nightmare of legally changing your name -- but for crying out loud, Mrs. Jacob? Five minutes ago that woman had a first name -- her own first name -- there was absolutely no need to make her borrow her husband's. You two may now be a couple in every respect that matters to the social, religious and governmental powers that be, but you are still two people. Your husband does not absorb you into his being when you say 'I do.' So, no. No, she's not chattel. She is not of Mr. Jacob Drundle; she is his partner. So do us all a favor, and announce the couple as Mr. and Mrs. Drundle.
(1) Graffiti (or bumperstickers) that say "Jesus Saves." There's proabably 30 miles of US-23 in Michigan where someone has spray painted "Jesus Saves" on a concrete pylon of each overpass. I also once got stuck behind a semi where someone had written the phrase in the dirt on the back of the truck. I have no problem with the expression of religious sentiment in this regard, what I take issue with is that "saves," in this usage, is a transitive verb and it needs to take a frickin object! Give Jesus something to save -- don't leave him hanging! Unless Jesus is in goal for the Red Wings, he can't just "save." The verb does not work like that, people! Jesus can misuse grammar however he likes, but you have no such excuse.
Care to leave a comment and share your pet peeves? Or, if you write your own post, leave a link in the comments section and let me know.
Meanwhile. I've still got that song stuck in my head.
Here's something I never thought I'd say: I am now the proud owner of a pair of jeggings.
(Godhelpme)
That's right, jeggings. Jean-leggings. Stretchy denim that's cling-to-your-ass tight and (it gets worse) ends in an elastic waistband. None of the pocket / zipper detail is functional.
Jeggings are meant to be worn under those too-long-to-be-a-shirt but too-short-to-be-anything-but-a-skanky-dress tops. This means that pockets and button flies would make the look bulky and bumpy. So why the designers bothered with the pseudo-pocket and fly detail, I will never know.
Now, I will be the first to admit that the jegging is a questionable fashion trend. Also, I freely (and rationally) admit that I am not stick skinny. But the jegging is comfortable and has a sliming effect. I also think the jegging can be worked with less controversy than the legging as long as everyone remembers that the first rule of the legging applies to both skin-tight pants styles: cover your hooha -- cover it twice.
When you gad about town in a jegging you gotta roll like this shot of celeb Sienna Miller (no, I've never heard of Sienna Miller but she was the first real person to come up when I did an image search and someone else had heard of her so here she is). [edit: I guess she was some minor character in Stardust.] Notice how everything we don't really want to see is covered once with pants, and twice with that spiffy long top. As I mentioned before, it's all about the long top. Therefore I see the existence of the jegging as something that has grown out of the long top trend, and something that should not evolve and/or mutate into being worn in other ways.
It's u-Haul season in my neighborhood. Orange and white trucks and trailers are parked everywhere. Some with the words PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND painted on them, and then a map so we dumb Americans can figure out where the hell Price Edward Island is (somewhere between Maine and the Arctic Circle). Others proclaim that Florida is THE MANATEE STATE. And there's one with a giant nasty spider on it that might have words, but I'm too grossed out to look at long enough to read.
Last Friday I would have seen fewer beds in a mattress store. Friday was the BIG move in day for the college students and they've been trickling in ever since. But my apartments offer the option of furnished units if you're willing to pay more and you don't really care that most of the furniture belonged to someone else. Apparently the last thing to be delivered into these furnished units was the bed. A parade of three guys, hired to life and tote for the day, walking from the club house with full mattresses held over their heads/backs trotted past my window again and again. The frames they delivered with a truck.
In all of this, I continue to write, to work on cleaning and organizing my apartment to (a) make it my own little haven, (b) make me feel proud of my space, (c) benefit my mental health. Every so often I dread moving even though I have a lease for the next 12 months. I hate moving when you've just gotten things they way you've wanted them. However the water quality here is for shit. There's so much sediment in the water that my dishwasher is coated with orange, my shower curtain is tinted the same shade, and my Brita pitcher dies every month instead of every two months like it's supposed to. But hey, at least it's a cute apartment.
I've been doing a lot of who am I? what do I want? thinking the past month or two. I've come up with some answers that surprised myself. Some were a long time coming, some weren't. I then got around to the question of so if that's me, how do I want to present myself? is that how I've been presenting myself?
Take this blog, for example. A couple years ago, I recrafted my identity to be all about being a grad student in a writing program. I really wanted to be literary back then. Now I'm much more concerned with being an interesting person/writer than being let into the "literary writers" club. Oh, I'll keep writing, but I'm much more concerned with being interesting than being literary.
I also redid my bio on the side bar and I'm about to redo my bio on the About page. It was all about where I went to school and what I did that added clout to my literaryness. Yawn. Then I read the big fat Bio-writing lie (via). Now it is much more entertaining.
And then the cat who had been sleeping on my desk rolled over and would have fallen to the ground if not for the fact that she reached out her claws into my conveniently placed thigh. Guess that's as good a sign as any that I should end the post.
Today's videos recommendations all come from theLiz. She has launched her own blog which is very funny, where in she rants about "how to live in NYC" and life with pets. I whole heartedly encourage you to check it out: Home is Where the Cat Is.
Marcel the Shell with Shoes on
A public service announcement about cat safety (the choice of music/soundtrack might be the best part). From the ever funny people who bring you Hyperbole and a Half:
There's no ad that's particularly struck me this week, and given real life things, I'm in no mood to go out and find one. Instead I'm going to speak obliquely in order to speak specifically -- which is precisely why I love metaphor.
Not that long ago, I was in a great mood and a great place mentally. I was headed down a path that I loved -- a kind of scary path, but I was cool with that. And there I was, jogging along -- yes, jogging not walking -- when I catch sight of someone building a brick wall a mile down the path. The way, for now, is still clear. But each step I take forward is done with the knowledge that it brings me closer to that wall.
I know that if I make it to that wall faster than I thought I could, then the wall won't be complete and I can hop right over it. And even if the wall gets completed, there's a chance that I can get there before the mortar sets, and I can push my way through with force. Either way, I need to speed up if I want to continue.
The difficulty in speeding up has nothing to do with physical strength or the task of running down the path; it's entirely mental. Can I make it before the wall goes up? Will I be strong enough to push through it if it's built? Maybe I should just find some other path and take a nice easy stroll. It's hard to make yourself put one foot in front of the other when you're wondering if you should be backtracking as fast as possible.
Of course, if I can just get over my fear and trepidation, I can prove how stubborn and determined I really am. Once and for all, for myself and everyone else to see. ... And if that sounds like a vow, it's because it is.
Let me start off by wondering how it got to be Friday. Or, for that matter, how it got to be the end of August. It was supposed to be August 10 right about now not August 27.
I suppose the good news is that I work well under pressure, and pressure is what I have between now and Tuesday, the deadline day for a bunch of projects. Then, once the "August" stuff is done, I can do the "pre-semester" stuff by Labor Day. Classes start the day after Labor Day for me . . . but if you were astute, you already picked up on that.
This has been a week of errands, improvements, philosophies, realities, heartaches, and headaches. Oh, and I burned through the first three books by Jeaniene Frost starting with Halfway to the Grave-- which are fucking awesome books with absolutely beautiful cover art. Kudos to the Avon publishing art department.
At least in my world, August is the month of undertaking projects to better the living space. This month I've built bookshelves and purchased an ergonomic desk chair. The old desk chair was actually a kitchen chair and was absolutely wreaking havoc on my back and shoulders, especially as I buckled down to write 1000 words a day on my novel on top of other projects. So I anted up and got the chair.
The chair is the last big step in reworking my work space. The first step was a half-curtain to block out the soap opera-like antics of my neighbors in the parking lot. I've set up drawers for storage, a "submissions check off" sheet hanging on my wall (I get a star sticker for each submission I make in the next 12 months), and then there's the shelves.
I love "back to school" sales. I purchased two some-assembly-required three shelf bookcases for a total of $36 with tax. No, they're not fancy or particularly well made, but they're the kind of thing that if you treat them well they'll last, but if you treat them roughly, they'll look like shit in a year's time. The shelving allows me to get some boxes up off the floor and stop using my coffee table as a book shelf -- which had been serving as home for the same 15 books for the past year.
Of course, those boxes only get up off the floor of my bedroom if I organize the other bookcase to make room for the boxes. Essentially, this looks like a project that could last as long as my closet organizing . . . which I started last August and will finish (hopefully) someday soon when I finally donate the old clothes I've been meaning to donate for the past 52 weeks.
August is definitely my home improvement month. Now if only I could convince everyone of that, I'm certain i could get a hefty endorsement from Lowes.
I'm curious about when other people's "home project" time of year is. Does anyone really hold with that "spring cleaning" thing anymore? Is my year-old unfinished project the worst of the bunch, or can someone beat me for longest unaccomplished home improvement project?
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About Me
Eileen Wiedbrauk
Occasionally known as "Speak Coffee." I write, read, go to grad school, indulge in pointless displays of pop culture and social networking obsessions, and keep two cats. I can bake some seriously kickass cookies and make one mean steak. I'll read just about anything, but I srsly love urban fantasy and trashy paranormal books, and I no longer care who knows it.
books because I suddenly noticed everyone on the internet flipping out about the release of 
. (Okay, not everyone, but at least all the YA bloggers.) I did not know I was supposed to be waiting with bated breath for the release of the third book. My bad. So I will perform odd acts of anticipatory breathing while waiting for copies to become available from my local library. There's a wait list there as well, so it's almost the same thing, right?
