Thursday Updates (there's lots)

• Rejection letter for short story received today. Guess I need to wish harder on the mail man, he keeps bringing me news I don't want to hear. Already tacked the form letter up on the board. I do like the type face of their logo though.


• It's spring in full swing here. Time to bust out the camera and the Claritin.

These pink beauties are crab apple blossoms. There's tons of them in the area blooming in this shade of light pink, a darker mauve color and some so pale they're white with just a hint of pink. It's a very pretty time of year. It's also the time of year when these trees buzz with their bee friends.

• Western Michigan does have a spot for me. I was reassured that I was wanted to come to their MFA program only they didn't offer me a seat because they could only afford a very few number of TA positions. Ug that Michigan economy.
• I told UNH (officially) that I will not be attending. Going out east might have been interesting, but this move will be better for my life and stress level.

So, I'm going to grad school! I can ditch all my "considered options" and go back to the plan. Plan B, admittedly, but "The Plan" for current purposes.

The writing world has not turned me out on my ass as I had thought! Well, to be more precise I thought it had just kicked me out of the nest and said it's time to make it in the real world. Honestly? We're stilling nesting. (Can I mix metaphors any more?)

*Takes deep breath. Tries to become more zen-like about the world.*

I was really coming that place in my mind where I was realizing that I had to get "real work" asap and that I had to find it as a writing job in some way because I will go crazy doing just about anything else. I'm not a very good business or retail person. I believe too much in a quality product filling a genuine need to ever tack the word "Sales" after my name. So I was looking at copy editor positions. A copy editor is akin to a proof reader in many positions and sometimes they also do writing depending on the needs of the employer.

Who knows? In three years I might be right back here looking at copy editor jobs again but at that point I will have three more years of writing under my belt. And what I need now is time. Time because publishing is a slow process. It gains momentum (if everything works out) but it's a slow start.

MFA Update

Or perhaps lack of update would be better.

People (not me) went to UNH's admitted student day. They've reported back. Said only glowing wonderful things. Got back frank but praiseworthy emails from the advisor-type-woman whom UNH told me to contact.

Was supposed to call WMU today but by the time I got around to it, it was already after normal business hours so I wasn't too surprised when it went to voicemail. Gotta look into that because the Poets&Writer's Speak Easy (yes I've caved and started reading there) says that they're telling waitlisted people what their number on the waitlist is.

Not that knowing a mere number really does much either way for me. Knowing the number doesn't mean that I'll get and acceptance even if I'm #1 nor does it mean that as #10 I will not for certain get an offer. The fact of the matter is that until I get a definite 'yes' or 'no' there can be no plan making. I can't sculpt my life around a maybe. But I can let them know that I remain interested.

I'm starting to remind myself of those women who sit around waiting, waiting, waiting on their boyfriends to get a clue and give 'em a ring.

I hate those women.

But at least with this I know that in a couple of months I will have an answer. I'll have a bride-groom one way or the other.

New Hampshire sounds amazing as a physical location. Mountains, forests, snow, ocean. Quaint college town where the students think they run things and cross the street wherever they want because the pedestrian is invincible. But it's so damn far away. And the farther away you go the greater your start up cost is. There won't be any running back home because I forgot something.

Not that I'm the kind of person who has always lived close by my parents and used them as a convenience store. I've lived 5-6 hours from home during school so I know that if I forgot something I needed to find it on my own. But it's a big move. Not distance-wise but stuff-wise. Dad seems to think that he has some ideas on how to make it happen physically. I'll let him worry about that for now.

For the moment, I find I have enough pointless worry.

I can't do much to influence the school situation right now. I haven't written anything (fiction) in a little less than a week. And I'm freaking out a little too much to generate any sort of well formed ideas. Then again the mindlessness of my new job helps to numb my brain and make it suitable only for reality TV viewing. Just last night did I realize that the guy I'd been watching skanks, dancers, and rock chick groupies slobber after and fight over was once the lead singer of Poison. I just liked the outrageous train wreck of it all. It's disgusting. All of it. And yet, I watch, because I'm in a bout of writing-insomnia.

It's not writer's block. Mostly it's not because I don't believe in writer's block. I think it's all in your head. And I'm coming up with ideas and notions for stories, letting the facts and pieces bubble up to me and saving them for when I have a clearer picture to write. But still there's nothing to show for that thinking process save post-its and napkins that I've scribbled notes on. And I want something I can skin my teeth into and feel good about.

Maybe the April version of NaNoWriMo (called April Fools) will be helpful. Although I doubt it will over much, as I'm having trouble dealing with the intensity of the genre overload that goes on at that site.

Official UNH Letter

There we have it! The official snail mail acceptance letter!

This means I'll no longer feel compelled to continue checking the blackboard site for UNH to see if my "status" had magically changed. I'll no longer fear an apologetic email from the campus tech department saying there was a glitch in their database that caused all applicants to appear as "admitted." Nope. It's on paper now; that means it's official, baby!

But now that it's here in my hot little hands, I am on a mission to decipher its secrets. I know it's just a letter and not some Da Vinci Code artifact, but there's a telling silence in this four paragraph letter:

There's not one word about money.

Nowhere does it say there's a grant, scholarship or TA position with my name on it. Nor does it inform me that TA decisions have already been made and I can apply for one next year should I choose to attend UNH. Word on the MFAblog was that the office decided they would not send out letters until they had made TA decisions. If so, this is bad news. However, hope hinges on the fact that this letter comes from the Dean of the Graduate School, and was cc-ed to the English Department. The Graduate School doesn't make TA decisions, the individual departments do.

I'd love to hang my hat on the later speculation, but it turns out I have no hat.

The fact and fiction of the letter.
Yes, it reaffirms the existence of an acceptance --
but what mysteries does it hold beneath its introductory platitudes?

The best I can hope if there's no money involved is further debt for one year of out of state tuition (glug). Then a Starbucks (or equivalent) job to establish residency in the great state of New Hampshire so that the remaining 2-4 semesters will be more resonably priced.

Up Next: Notes on Craft and "Seasonal" Photography