Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Reposted from the "Kenyon Review Online" Blog.

Nine Out of Ten Vikings Say…

Sergei Lobanov-Rostovsky February 19th 2009

Oslo (AP) — A recently-discovered survey of Vikings has revealed that libraries are unnecessary. A majority of the marauding Norsemen favored alternative uses for the resources, including bonfires, dragon hordes, and “út-tearin’ sheets to wipen your rumpe.”

“We’ve found that Vikings mainly use libraries for meeting space,” said lead researcher Eric the Unpleasant. “They need a place to gather after a raid to divide the plunder. And vellum is apparently excellent for wiping blood from your axe.”

“In today’s competitive business climate,” he went on, “who has time for illuminated manuscripts? After all, it’s not like we can learn anything from the past.”

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