fiction, continuted from previous)
Scott No. 256 ate a blueberry bagel of questionable quality. One can easily understand his need to question the blueberry bagel as blueberry bagels are often of character that looks like they are on the brink of molding and growing fuzzy. This is caused by the blueberry pieces being close to the surface yet not entirely breaking the surface of the bagel therefore leaving a hint of discoloration on the skin of the bagel. Prior to consuming he stated amiably to his friend “If I die, you’ll know why.”
He was very amused that he had rhymed and therefore ate the bagel with a happy disposition despite his concerns.
Scott No. 256 decided to go to an engineering college. His best pick up line was “Hey baby, can I be your derivative because I want to be tangent to all your curves.” As with Scott No. 139 he didn’t get any girls either.
* * *
The whereabouts of Scotts No. 517 remain unverified.
It is vehemently believed that he will not be located in Akron. Ever. His brother had worked on an ambulance in New York City before moving to Akron to do the same work. He stated that for all the strange and disturbing things he saw as an EMT in New York, Akron was worse.
* * *
Scott No. 279 lived in Rush County, Indiana. In the middle of nowhere within Rush County, Indiana. Ergo: a cornfield. He had a big old house with a pond in front, fifteen feet deep in spots, thankfully, frozen over. It was snowing, really snowing and the news had a weather advisory out. They had made it fairly clear that no one should leave their homes unless it was an emergency.
Despite this, Wal-Mart beckoned Scott No. 279.
Besides how he was going to get there, Scott No. 279 did not stop to consider who might actually be at Wal-Mart once he got there or how bad the storm would be once it was time to leave Wal-Mart. He had no need to fear the warning. After all he had driven in the snow before. He had driven in the Sierra Nevadas in 12 ft. of snow in the middle of the night.
There was a long winding driveway out to the road that he couldn’t see at all because enough snow had already settled on the ground. Still Scott No. 279 was not to be deterred. He had a Jeep Liberty, he could do it. However in his attempt to keep on the driveway he swerved out onto the pond. His wife, who had been watching him from the front porch, realized that he was on the pond. She began to panic. She pulled on her boots and her coat and prepared to save her husband from the pond she was sure would break under the weight of his Jeep. His daughter watched the whole thing. As his wife dashed out the front door he backed up the Jeep and returned to the house.
“You were on the pond!” His daughter yelled at him.
“You were on the pond!” His wife yelled at him. “You were driving over the pond with a Jeep Liberty! You could have gone through!”
He refused to believe her. He told her he was on the driveway the whole time. He only backed up because he couldn’t find the road.
They went outside later that night and his daughter pointed to where the ice had cracked from the weight of the Jeep.
Highly Recommended
