Why I'm going to live forever

Study shows that coffee drinkers are 10-15% less likely to die than non-coffee drinkers. Oh, and by "coffee drinker" we don't mean those who imbibe a measly cup a day. Oh, no. To reach maximum coffee anti-death effect you need to come on up to my level of consumption, what the study refers to as "six cups of coffee or more every day."

Yep, science has proven it: by the power of coffee, I'm going to live forever.