I forgot to mention that at the wedding last weekend I caught the bouquet! Me! Of all people! Me who gets on her little soap box and rails against the institution of marriage. Me.
Marriage is all well and good for some people, but for many people it's just another manifestation of their stupidity, one they can't return to the store, can't sell on eBay, and have to live with for a long time either in the form of a living breathing spouse or in the form of ridicule from every acquaintance who loves to utter those four little words I told you so. And none of that has anything to do with the economic atrocities women commit in heaps when they get married, particularly: putting everything in his name. Sure things are wonderful now but even if you never get divorced what happens if you need to get at that money quickly and he's not around (or unconscious, etc)?
See? Soap box.
ANYWAY, I caught the damn bouquet. And by "caught" I mean that I reached for it, it bounced off my hands smacked into my forehead and landed at my feet. I claim the bouquet right as damages. It was an unbound fistful of gerber daisies so they separated in midair thus my inability to catch ... which means that each of the five or six flowers was picked up by a different girl (including the eight year-old flower girl).
I still think I deserve it.
Addendum: I did get one of the flowers from the bouquet. And I'm not completely against love and marriage as I might have appeared by the above. I am however against stupid people. And stupid people getting married and/or breeding. [insert lyrics of flag pole sitta here]