Writers with romantic intentions, come hither. The fourth volume of New Hampshire Pulp Fiction is lounging languidly on a velvet divan, making eyes at you. It’s time to make your move.
Submit your stories of love lost, passion fulfilled and unrequited devotion — all deeply embedded in New Hampshire places and culture — to Elaine Isaak at nhpulpromance@gmail.com and perhaps you too can be a part of this local publishing phenomenon.
Story length: 8,000 words or less Deadline for submissions: July 31, 2013 Planned for release: before Valentine’s Day, 2014
Got a market notice you want listed in future Market Mondays on Speak Coffee to Me? Send along the link with the words "Market Monday Plz" to @EileenWiedbrauk on Twitter.
And now to indulge in the internet's favorite past time, Cats. Recently, Good Cat went in to see the vet for some regularly scheduled feline maintenance.
She was quite vocal in her objections to going in the box, leaving the house, going in the car, leaving the car, and sitting in the vet's waiting room. The fuzzy brown puppy in the waiting room thought she was fascinating. But he was a very well behaved fuzzy brown puppy and just stare from across the room. Good Cat does not hiss. She cries. Short, plaintive bursts of noise that struck just the right acoustic balance to fill the entire waiting room and draw the attention of all three of the reception workers ... who were all more interested in how well the fuzzy brown puppy was handling everything. Sometimes cats can't get no love.
More vocal protests accompanied our move into the exam room. When I opened the door of the carrying box, she turned around, presenting her butt to the door. Clearly stating that while she by no stretch of the imagination did she want to be in the box to begin with, she would not be departing at the current locale. I'll get off at the next stop, thank you very much. So when the vet-tech up-ended the box, the result was a graceless but surprisingly funny rear-end first exit. More meowing. And some army crawling to the safest looking positions.
Vet examination proved that Good Cat is a Good Cat with no noticeable health problems, unlike Bad Cat who has had a bad tooth, urinary crystals and infections, eosinophilic granuloma complex, is so allergic to hard water that she'll lick the fur off her stomach if she gets too much, and last summer, got pneumonia. Oh and when she was a kitten she got a ball of infection pressing between bone and skin (there's a name for when an infection makes itself into a ball so that antibiotics don't work on it but I've forgotten it) which caused her paw to explode. Bad cat is expensive. But friendly. Everyone at the vet's office loves her.
Good Cat only ever sees vet for vaccinations.
I did however need to run by the vet my one concern about Good Cat's habits: she eats spinach. Loves it. She hears the baby spinach bag crinkle and she's there waiting next to me to see if I'll throw her a leaf which she then sniffs then hauls off to a new local to play with and eventually consume.
Of course, in fear of being considered an awful Pet Parent, I must downplay my enabling of Good Cat's spinach addiction. So I tell vet that Good Cat will steal spinach and snag dropped leaves off the floor ... which yes, she totally does, the fact that I regularly throw her a leaf is not mentioned. Vet nods. Asks if Good Cat might have a little bit of vomiting post-spinach-snag. Nope, no vom.
Vet nods again. Tells me, "If she wants to enjoy the occasional leaf then I don't see any harm in it."
Best. Vet. Line. Ever. The occasional leaf, said the same way a doctor would explain the benefits the occasional glass of red wine.
So I head home in pretty good spirits. But hey, I'm not the one that just got stuck in a little box, uncerimoniously dumped from said little box, then given a rabies vaccination in my hip. I let the cat out, take out the trash, run to the post office, come home and find Good Cat is happy but sleepy. More than willing to let me pet her. Bad Cat is under the bed.
Bad Cat is usually an attention whore. Needy. In your face. Friends with everyone. Pet me. Love me. Feed me if you must but I'd really rather you dangle a string for me to pounce on. Nope. None of that. Not today. Today she is under the bed. Try to pet her -- gone. Dangle string -- she eyes you suspiciously. Bad Cat knows where Good Cat has been and Bad Cat is waiting, waiting for her turn to be shoved in the box and carted off.
For the rest of the day she waits, waits for the other shoe to drop. Meanwhile, Good Cat gets her "occasional leaf."
Gorgeous Krampus art from a book
I have absolutely no association with
other than drooling over the art: Krampus: The Yule Lord by Brom.
Specter Spectacular II: 13 Deathly Tales closes to submissions on Saturday, but don't despair you writers of the macabre! Also on Saturday, June 15, Kate Wolford will start reading submissions for a Krampus based anthology as part of a joint venture between World Weaver Press and Enchanted Conversation: A Fairy Tale Magazine.
Description: You know the Jolly Old Elf of Christmas, right? Of course you do. You can’t avoid him. Yet, Santa Claus isn’t just a kindly old expert at breaking and entering and leaving gifts he didn’t actually buy for the children of a house. At least he isn’t in Austria and many other parts of Europe. In these ancient places, where, perhaps, the old, old gods still add a touch of mischief, Krampus is the angry, punishing sidekick of St. Nicholas (Santa’s counterpart in much of Europe). Known for his willingness to punish rotten children, Krampus might even be considered Santa’s dark side or evil twin. Krampus is the sort of guy more and more North Americans want to explore. He’s definitely having a moment this side of the Atlantic. To that end, World Weaver Press and Enchanted Conversation: A Fairy Tale Magazine are pleased to announce a joint venture: An anthology of Krampus short stories. Although the book is yet to be named, we hope you’ll explore every possible Krampus angle via short stories. He’s a nasty old dude, and we hope your imaginations will get the better of you.
Anthology editor Kate Wolford ran a mini Krampus story contest for Enchanted Conversation last Christmas where there was lots of interest -- it was certainly the first time I'd heard of the Krampus! -- and gives her insights on what she's looking for in the upcoming anthology: “Krampus taps into a kind of ancient darkness that captures the spirit of winter. He also seems to lend himself to humor and horror and maybe, a bit of magic. I think the story possibilities are endless and intriguing.”
World Weaver Press is a publisher of fantasy, paranormal, and science fiction, dedicated to producing quality works. As a small press, World Weaver seeks to publish books that engage the mind and ensnare the story-loving soul.
Matt Smith is officiallyslated to leave Doctor Who during the 2013 Christmas special -- now I'd heard this news as likely coming from credible sources (namely the way that the show's creators/writers/producers were phrasing the way the talked about the future of the show) but people kept telling me it was "just a rumor," "allegedly leaving," "don't believe it."
Regardless of the naysayers, I trusted my own ears and intellect -- it's been a four year run, after all. Consequently, I've had some months to think about my top choices for which actors I'd like to see as The Next Doctor.
** Although, I should note that in the best of all possible worlds, the Doctor re-regenerates back into David Tennant. Just saying. **
Paging doctor cranky-pants
English actor Hugh Laurie, best known to Americans for his dramatic role in House M.D. We're already used to seeing him as a cranky, eccentric, meddling, lying, smartest-man-in-the-room doctor. Why not upgrade to being the Doctor?
(Note: I would probably pee my pants if this absolutely awesome idea came to fruition.)
Laurie is an amazing actor -- watching the wheels in his head turn (his characters' heads, to be exact), is fascinating. It would be so much fun to see him in an action-ish role. Lot's of running in Doctor Who, you know. But it would be beyond fun to see the Doctor with the cynical-romantic edge that Hugh Laurie portrays so well.
Am I a ginger?
The Doctor's always wanted to be a ginger, why not let him? And here I turn to suggest a former member of the Harry Potter cast -- but not one of the leads. Puhleeze. Can't imagine Ron, Harry, or Hermione stepping from one iconic British spec fic lead into another -- my little brain would explode. Although to be honest, just about all of England's finest actors and actresses have played in Harry Potter at one time or another.
I suggest for the role of the Doctor, Domhnall Gleeson who played Bill Weasley. A redhead and an Irish actor -- does that DQ him? We've had Scottish actors play Who after all. I have to admit that I'm an ignorant American when it comes to the sometimes prickly nature of English-Scottish-Irish-Welsh cultural overlap.
But how can we let such notions stand in our way when there are already movies stills of Domhnall Gleeson like this one that could come from just about any episode of Who? Puts you in mind of William Hartnell, no?
I'm a girl!
Every time the public scents a regeneration in the air, the question becomes when will everyone's favorite Time Lord appear as a Time Lady? A prospect reanimated not that long ago in the episode "The Doctor's Wife" when the 11th Doctor mentioned a particular tattoo a Time Lord friend of his got every regeneration -- whether he regenerated as male or female.
My top actress pick -- just for its timey wimey impossibilities -- would be Georgia Moffett. How awesome would it be to have the actress daughter of the 5th Doctor (Peter Davison) and the wife of the 10th Doctor (David Tennant) play the 12th Doctor? Oh yes, wibbly wobbly timey wimey goo indeed.
Alas, that seems unlikely to happen as she's already played Jenny, the Doctor's cloned daughter, and the writers of Doctor Who prefer to make sense of actors who reappear -- even going so far as to have characters take a time out while trying to save the universe from imminent destruction to explain why the Reboot Season 1 Episode 2 actress Eve Myles appears as part of the Torchwood team (a Welsh family with deep roots, apparently). Other actresses that reappear in unrelated episodes get entire story lines to explain themselves (see: Impossible Girl).
So Georgia Moffett appears to be an unreasonable addition to my list, but maybe her adorable son will one day take up acting.
Let me get sidetracked for a second: dangling story line here people! The Doctor's cloned daughter is still out there! Someone! Write an episode, or five, about that! Please!
In all seriousness though, what about Jennifer Ehle? An English-American actress I'm most familiar with for her roles in Pride and Prejudice (BBC version) and The King's Speech. Narratively speaking, I think that if the Doctor were to regenerate as a woman, she would need to not be a barely legal hot young thang, she would need to be a bit more mature in order to deal with all the bits and people of her past ... including her dead wife.
That's the shortlist. I'll be waiting with bated breath this Christmas to see just what the heck happens on screen. I might cry. Well, there might be tearing up. Gotta admit that I'm not likely to shed the tears I did when Tennant uttered the line "I don't want to go."
And if, for any reason, the Doctor Who production team wants to hire me to help write for the show, or cast actors, or shine Dalek chrome tops -- call me.
